When Your Child Doesn’t Want To Go To Soccer

If it hasn’t happened to you already, it will. You’ve got your keys in your hand, ready to be the driver to your child’s activity. You’ve got coffee, your phone, your wallet; you’re ready to go.

But your child is not.

They are asking if they have to go. They want to stay home.

What do you do?

Start with why.

Why do they want to stay home? You may have to dig for answers. And good answers may not come right away. Be patient. They will come. Here are a few reasons you may hear and what you could do to make it better.

I don’t want to.

I know, right? There are times when I’m supposed to go do something and I don’t want to. I’m watching TV and I’m comfy on the couch. Tonight I’m supposed to go to yoga but I'm yawning right now. Staying home sounds good.

But I also know that once I’m there I will appreciate being there.

Commiserate with your child and let them know you get it. You feel that way sometimes too. But you also know that they will have fun once they get there and you need them to follow through on the commitment they made. Sweeten the deal with a stop for a special snack on the way home.

I don’t know anyone there. I don’t have any friends.

As Brene Brown says, we are hardwired for connection. But if your child isn’t feeling connected, motivation to go to soccer each week can be lost. So you need to help them connect. Make some plans with some of the other players so your child can get to know them. Create a car pool and stop for some ice cream on the way home. Give them a reason to look forward to going.

I just want to stay home.

Take a look at your child’s schedule. Is it too busy? Plan some down time. But make good use of it. Do something together. If you don’t make a plan, the time will go to screen time. And that isn’t really restorative for anyone.

There will be times when your child wants to stay home. That’s normal. There are times when you just want to stay home too. And, occasionally, it’s okay to take a day off. And sometimes you have your child honor their commitment to their coach and teammates.

Parenting is a balancing act. And there is no right way to do things. And what is right for one child in your family may be wrong for another. So when your child wants to stay home, do what is right for them and for you that day.