Helping Your Child Make Friends on the Team
Player ID is done. Rec teams are in the process of being formed. And kids are nervous.
Maybe they have changed clubs and are starting on a completely different team. Maybe there are some new players on the team, and that makes them anxious. Maybe their person who was on their team has moved away.
Will they know anyone? Will anyone like them? Will they like anyone?
It’s a tough transition. Here is how to make it a bit easier for your child—and for you too.
- Role Play - The days leading up to a first practice can be nerve-wracking. To make it easier for your player, practice meeting people. Do some role-playing. Pretend to be the coach and have your child introduce themselves to you. Help them think of what they can say to their new teammates. “What school do you go to?” “What’s your favorite part of soccer?” “What position do you like to play?” Practicing these interactions helps your child feel like they have already done something, so it’s easy to do it again.
- Model Making Friends - You can’t expect your child to reach out and talk to new people if you aren’t willing to do so. Be a good example and try making connections with the other parents. You could even ask your child to pretend to be other parents, and you role-play talking to parents. Ask questions about the soccer program if you have any. Need a recommendation for a landscaper? This is a great group to ask.
- Invite Other Players Over - Start texting other team members and make some plans. Create some team events away from the pitch. Connect. For the Recreation crowd, make a plan to meet at a park. For the older kids, invite kids to your home or make a plan to get Dairy Queen after a practice. People talk about doing things like this but don’t follow through. Be the person who makes it happen.
- Celebrate Who Your Child Is - If your child is shy, it’s okay. If they are anxious, they are anxious. It’s part of what makes them, them. Celebrate them - no matter who they are and what quirks they have. Your accepting who they are will help them overcome any difficulties much faster than you trying to change who they are.
Meeting new people and making new friends can be hard. But learning you can do hard things teaches resilience. And we can all use more of that. Don’t make it easy for your child. Instead, give them the skills they need to make it easy for themselves.